live to inspire.

I take one day at a time. I'm a teenage girl trying to find my place in this world.

2 notes

thetwistedpixie:

Having a trigger day… As soon as I get home I am just going to cry it out and go to sleep. It sucks when you have to hold it together for everyone else because they just don’t understand.

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Here’s to your existence. May beautiful people, things, and feelings envelop your future. I am glad you are alive. Peace. 🌌 Stay Courageous, lovelies.

Here’s to your existence. May beautiful people, things, and feelings envelop your future. I am glad you are alive. Peace. 🌌 Stay Courageous, lovelies.

1 note

Everything is survivable. Everything except the last thing. Sorry my communication and interpersonal skills suck. But it doesn’t mean I don’t care. And I need you. I need your love even when I seem unresponsive. You help make me better. Even if you can’t see it. I wouldn’t be here right now if there wasn’t a good part of my brain. But, even when I’m hurting, there’s a whisper somewhere telling me all these bad thoughts are not true. According to my therapist, I dissociate a LOT. I’m a work in progress. It’s all a work in progress. And I know I’ve hit rock bottom. Again. But I am choosing to believe that my bad thoughts aren’t the honest thoughts. The good, happy thoughts are. I just hope I can keep choosing that. Because sometimes I’m not sure if anything or anyone is true or honest. And it’s very scary to be scared of everyone and everything. Especially when you try to calm yourself down and that only intensifies your symptoms. Excuse this lengthy message. Maybe someone will see this and feel less alone. Or maybe I will delete it after a couple moments. I am ashamed of being ill. I shouldn’t be ashamed if I’m doing everything to treat it. It just feels really hopeless sometimes. A lot of the time lately, to be honest. I’m experiencing so much right now. I know it’s all in my head. But I’m not sure that kind of self-awareness makes me feel any better. Just inadequate. And a hypocrite. Especially when I can hardly greet my days with a smile and positivity. It’s not happening; it’s a facade. I am not okay. Maybe admitting this to you will help. Maybe not. #suicide #prevention #mentalillness #stigma #nightmares #ptsd #disorder #sick #health #recovery #treatment #nspw #awareness

Everything is survivable. Everything except the last thing. Sorry my communication and interpersonal skills suck. But it doesn’t mean I don’t care. And I need you. I need your love even when I seem unresponsive. You help make me better. Even if you can’t see it. I wouldn’t be here right now if there wasn’t a good part of my brain. But, even when I’m hurting, there’s a whisper somewhere telling me all these bad thoughts are not true. According to my therapist, I dissociate a LOT. I’m a work in progress. It’s all a work in progress. And I know I’ve hit rock bottom. Again. But I am choosing to believe that my bad thoughts aren’t the honest thoughts. The good, happy thoughts are. I just hope I can keep choosing that. Because sometimes I’m not sure if anything or anyone is true or honest. And it’s very scary to be scared of everyone and everything. Especially when you try to calm yourself down and that only intensifies your symptoms. Excuse this lengthy message. Maybe someone will see this and feel less alone. Or maybe I will delete it after a couple moments. I am ashamed of being ill. I shouldn’t be ashamed if I’m doing everything to treat it. It just feels really hopeless sometimes. A lot of the time lately, to be honest. I’m experiencing so much right now. I know it’s all in my head. But I’m not sure that kind of self-awareness makes me feel any better. Just inadequate. And a hypocrite. Especially when I can hardly greet my days with a smile and positivity. It’s not happening; it’s a facade. I am not okay. Maybe admitting this to you will help. Maybe not. #suicide #prevention #mentalillness #stigma #nightmares #ptsd #disorder #sick #health #recovery #treatment #nspw #awareness

Filed under nspw suicide recovery awareness mentalillness nightmares health treatment sick stigma disorder ptsd prevention

311 notes

You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting―
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.
Mary Oliver (via splitterherzen)

(via yetevidently)