Dissociation and college just do not work well together…
Having a trigger day… As soon as I get home I am just going to cry it out and go to sleep. It sucks when you have to hold it together for everyone else because they just don’t understand.
It’s really fucked up that I have to deal with the consequences of their actions
Here’s to your existence. May beautiful people, things, and feelings envelop your future. I am glad you are alive. Peace. 🌌 Stay Courageous, lovelies.
Everything is survivable. Everything except the last thing. Sorry my communication and interpersonal skills suck. But it doesn’t mean I don’t care. And I need you. I need your love even when I seem unresponsive. You help make me better. Even if you can’t see it. I wouldn’t be here right now if there wasn’t a good part of my brain. But, even when I’m hurting, there’s a whisper somewhere telling me all these bad thoughts are not true. According to my therapist, I dissociate a LOT. I’m a work in progress. It’s all a work in progress. And I know I’ve hit rock bottom. Again. But I am choosing to believe that my bad thoughts aren’t the honest thoughts. The good, happy thoughts are. I just hope I can keep choosing that. Because sometimes I’m not sure if anything or anyone is true or honest. And it’s very scary to be scared of everyone and everything. Especially when you try to calm yourself down and that only intensifies your symptoms. Excuse this lengthy message. Maybe someone will see this and feel less alone. Or maybe I will delete it after a couple moments. I am ashamed of being ill. I shouldn’t be ashamed if I’m doing everything to treat it. It just feels really hopeless sometimes. A lot of the time lately, to be honest. I’m experiencing so much right now. I know it’s all in my head. But I’m not sure that kind of self-awareness makes me feel any better. Just inadequate. And a hypocrite. Especially when I can hardly greet my days with a smile and positivity. It’s not happening; it’s a facade. I am not okay. Maybe admitting this to you will help. Maybe not. #suicide #prevention #mentalillness #stigma #nightmares #ptsd #disorder #sick #health #recovery #treatment #nspw #awareness
#nofilter To Write Love.
#nofilterneeded Sherri, the sky looks very beautiful this evening. Thank you. September 10, 2014 at 6:30 pm in Plant City, Florida. ✌